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I was sick and tired of being sick

I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Everyday for fifteen years I woke up looking for a drug to get me through the day. I never thought I would make it to the young age of 30. Well, I am almost there, and now I am connected with the best friend of my life, God.

They say you have to hit rock bottom before you can stop, but what is rock bottom? Is it loosing scholarships to major universities; is it ending up in a rehab facility for 3 months; is it being divorced by your wife; or, is it waking up every morning being overtaken by demons that control your thoughts and actions? I hit ALL of the previous bottoms and still none of these deterred me from using.

I started smoking marijuana when I was 15 and was actively using cocaine by the age of 17. I did not realize what I was getting myself involved in. By the time I was in college I was waist deep in selling drugs and doing hard drugs on a daily basis. My drugs of choice were ecstasy, cocaine and marijuana. I bounced from addiction to addiction. By the time I graduated college I was a mess. I thought if I moved away from this small town environment and that my life would be better. This was only temporary. Soon, I made more connections here in Florida and fell deeper in the hole. I got married and told everyone marriage would help me settle down. Once again I was wrong. I was lying and deceiving my wife and began using heavily again. My wife had had enough. We divorced and I then used my freedom to begin using an even harder drug, oxycotin. I was divorced, had no job and left my home. I was taking 6 oxycotin 80’s a day and I found myself in the hardest fought battle of my life. I had seen several friends die of the same drug. I knew I had to stop but I did not know how.

I finally went to my ex-wife and talked to her about my problem. My ex-wife and I decided to work things out. She decided divorce was not the way to go and decided to work through my addictions. She suggested that I try getting plugged into Bayside, the church she was going to. I had tried everything else; rehab, counseling and counteracting drugs. Nothing had worked; so, I was willing to do anything. My wife and I started getting plugged into the church and a small group. I continued to battle with the pain pill addiction. This was something that did not leave over night. But I now began developing accountability partners and I also surrounded myself with new friends who wanted to see me sober. Several people within the church knew about my addiction, but they would not judge me and would shower me with encouragement and love.

I also began to realize that I had one accountability partner that would see ALL I did here on Earth. Once I realized this, it changed my life. God will hold me accountable regardless as to who knows or doesn’t know what I am doing. God will also love me no matter what I have or haven’t done in the past. God has blessed me with so much since I have shown faithfulness. I am now remarried to my ex-wife and we have a better relationship than before. I now wake up in the morning and instead of looking for a line, pill or a bong hit to get me through the day my wife and I pray to God to get us through the day. I have never been so content with my life. When you are faithful, He is faithful and God will continue to bless you in all future endeavors.

             -Anonymous

The Affair

As I sit here wondering how it all got started, I'm reminded that our marriage problems were a reflection of our individual relationships with God, or lack thereof. At the time, neither of us spent regular time alone with God, reading the Bible and praying, nor were we active in a church. We were far away from family, and did not have any Christian friends to encourage us to persevere in our marriage, despite our deteriorating relationship. We tried counseling, but it was not a Christian counselor, and I no longer felt committed to the relationship – my heart simply wasn’t in it.

The affair started out as a casual acquaintance with a co-worker that developed into a friendship. When I started telling my “friend” about my marital problems, I went down a path that I should not have. She was a good listener, and was very sympathetic to my problems. In my heart, I knew that what I was doing was wrong, but it felt so good to have someone validate my feelings, that I ignored the warnings. The “friendship” eventually turned physical, as they almost always do, and that was the deathblow to my marriage. My wife found out (as they always do); she was devastated, and we agreed to divorce.

She moved back home, and since we had no children, we had no contact with each other for nearly a year. However, when I was relocated to a new town in conjunction with a new job, I passed near her home town, and so decided to contact her to see if I could come by for a visit. She agreed, and we spent the day talking – mostly about what we wish we had done differently, and although we did not make any promises that day, we both agreed to keep in touch. Later, I invited her to come and visit me, and it was during that visit that we decided to remarry. We both agreed that we had made mistakes in how we treated each other, and promised to do better this time. This time, rather than taking my wife for granted (and her me), we have sought out Godly wisdom on relationships, and I can honestly say that we are happier and more in love today that at any point in our nearly 20 years together.

So I not only thank God for giving me my wife – I thank him for giving me a second chance. The redemptive power of Christ allowed us to forgive each other, and to start over in a new, better relationship, based on the Solid Rock of Jesus Christ – and it gets better every day!

             - Anonymous





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